Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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