We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
