I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
