True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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