I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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