Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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