One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize