i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
