Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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