There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
