i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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