I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
