her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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