Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
