Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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