Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
