I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
