I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize