Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
