i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
