Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
