bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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