What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
