Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
