i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
