Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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