when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
