Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize