Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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