In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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