I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
