I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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