why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
