then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just puked most of my soul out..
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