i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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