That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
did i walk over a car last night?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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