Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
