just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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