In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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