Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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