My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
