omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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