Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it's like iHOP with fire
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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