Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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