I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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