Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
