i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
