Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
