Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
