EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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