And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
