I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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