I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
