She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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