When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
