i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
