PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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