We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize