i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's blow job season.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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