i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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