I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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